A couple random things...

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday to check the heart rate, etc. of this alien baby inside my belly.  Since I've been quite nauseated, I felt sure things were going as they should, so I was more concerned with the number, not necessarily if he'd find one at all.  I had a feeling I knew exactly what the doctor would say based upon my previous two female fetal heart rates.  I made the mistake of asking a girlfriend with two boys of her own what their heart rates were ahead of time so I could compare.  When Dr. Inge said, "sounds strong," instead of being pleased as punch to just hear I have a healthy heartbeat, I said, "what is it?"  He said EXACTLY what I thought he would say, "about 155."  I sighed, like a jackass, and said, "that's a lot of girls!"  He looked annoyed, as well he should've, and said, "It could still be a boy."  The hell you say!  

I also got an email forward this morning that was totally meant for me!  It said, "God doesn't give us what we want, He gives us what we need."  True dat!  I'll try not to be a jackass anymore and be happy with what God gives me!

Speaking of what God has given me...  I have two beautifully silly girls!  Katie is still saying silly things daily.  The latest family favorite is from Wednesday on our way to the car from the pool. We passed by a prickly bush and Katie walked right into it, then said, "AHH!  That sharp tree is freaking me out!"  I love her!  She's hilarious.

Mags is almost ready to walk, well, not really.  She is a stealth crawler who now pulls herself up to the standing position.  If I can remember correctly, which I'm absolutely sure I cannot, Katie wasn't quite pulling up like this at 9.5 months.  Katie didn't start walking until 16 months.  I think Maggie will walk sooner, which might be OK, giving me time to get used to it before the new one arrives in January.  

Thankfully, even though we're kind of out of girl names at this point, we had one reserve from when Maggie was born that we think we'll use for the next/last, provided that the next girl baby born in the family (by Ben and Amanda Williams in a few short days) doesn't claim it.  If she does, it could get hairy over here, but it will force us to get creative.  Can you say, "Starquesha Theodotia Wilson?"  We'll think of something.  And, hey, just like Dr. Inge said, "It could still be a boy."  ;)

Damn you, FETA!

I had some greek pasta salad today.  I wanted to devour the entire bowl.  I thought I hated feta cheese, but turns out I actually like it.  Not long after I ate more than my share,  I realized that I'm not supposed to be eating feta cheese, as it is one of those soft cheeses that may potentially carry the listeria bacteria.  Now I want to cry.  I can't stop thinking about eating MORE of that pasta salad, but it may have just harmed my unborn baby.

For those of you who CAN eat feta cheese...  this is a good recipe:

Greek Pasta Salad 

(I ate it without shrimp & olives and it was still quite tasty.)

Lesson Learned

OK, I got my hopes up and was severely disappointed.  Despite the horrible pains I've been having the last few days, not a whole lot has changed according to the doctor.  I may have made a mistake by seeing a different doctor from last week, but I was told that it's still too early for induction or stripping membranes.  Once I heard that news, my eyes welled up and I began blubbering uncontrollably (seriously, get a grip!!!).  Dr. Stephens looked at me and said, "Don't worry, honey, we won't make you stay pregnant forever.  We won't make you go past your due date."  Two more weeks...  just relax, Wilson.  You can handle it!   

For now, I'm scheduled for another appointment next week, and I suppose that is when I'll get to discuss the option of inducing and stripping membranes.  They will also hook me up to a monitor for a stress test for 15 minutes.

Thanks to everyone who is checking in on me!  I appreciate it.

Waiting Game

The last few days have hit me hard as I continue to wait for labor.  I know it's not fair for me to complain about being physically uncomfortable during this final stage of pregnancy, especially when we're being blessed with a hopefully healthy, strong baby.  Everyone says that the bigger they are, the better they sleep.  That is bound to only be true for babies, definitely not pregnant mommies!  I must resolve to relax and wait patiently and know that she'll come out when she's good and ready.

I think my poor attitude reached its peak when Katie was getting up at 3 am because of not feeling well.  Thankfully, she is doing much better.  After that one day of barfing, she was able to keep food down and play pretty normally.  She did have a strange fever two days after the barfing episode, but seems to be doing just fine now.  She's actually about as crazy as ever.

Thankfully, Judy is now here for the duration to make sure we make it to the hospital for delivery. It helps dramatically because Katie has one more person to run to in times of need besides mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.  Although, Katie has been loving Jimmy a lot lately, which I'm sure is both a welcome but confusing change for him. He taught her the word 'snuggle,' so now that's all she wants to do!

The reason Judy is here now and not closer to the actual due date is because I thought there was a chance I was starting labor on Saturday night.  Unfortunately, I'm just crazy (so, now we know where Katie gets it).  Jimmy started a trial on Monday and was nervous that he wouldn't be able to get away fast enough to get me to the hospital without suffering a mistrial or something. Hopefully, at this point, he'll have things finished up today, so we can tell this baby to start pushing her way out tonight :)  If she isn't ready tonight or Wednesday, then I will definitely discuss induction on Thursday with Dr. Stevens at my 10:30 am appointment.

If all else fails, I will perform my own extraction since spicy foods is not doing the trick like it did with Katie!

Latest Belly Update

I had another doctor's appointment this morning at 11:15 am.  I was able to see Dr. Groff this time, she's the doctor who grew up in Solon.  She is very matter of fact about everything, but much much much more pleasant than Dr. Inge, in my opinion.  Anyway, she said I was still only 1.5 cm, but she added "a GOOD 1.5 cm" to make me smile.  Then, she told me I was half way thinned out, which is more important to me anyway.  I guess I'm pleased with this news, but I still want to deliver already.  

She told me that because of the Gestational Diabetes I could opt to be induced between 38-39 weeks.  However, since I've kept it under control, I don't have to do it if I don't want to.  I was all, "What, are you crazy?  Just take it out now!"  I won't be able to schedule the induction until after my next visit which is Thursday, Sept. 25, provided I don't go into labor before then...  sigh.  I guess that's OK for now.  We'll just keep our fingers crossed that this all happens naturally, and the sooner the better.

On another note, I was thinking I probably wouldn't have the energy to push a baby out today even if nature demanded that I did.  Katie decided to wake up at 3:45 am and start her day.  We tried a little bit of everything to get her to go back to sleep, but unfortunately she was a little too restless. I was so worried about sending her to school on such little sleep, but apparently she did pretty well.  They got to meet some firefighters and check out a fire truck.  I thought she would totally dig it, but her teacher said she was a little shy about it, though still did pretty well.  The whole car ride home from school she just kept telling me that the fire truck was too loud.

She's napping now, even though she put up a fight.  I think I'll take a nap too, but without the fight.

C'mon, Little Lady!

Her name is picked, her room is mostly done, our bags our packed, my belly button popped out a long time ago, what's the hold up???  Bring it!  I'm ready!!

Not much to update, but here it is...

I had another doctor's appt. yesterday and felt a little blue with the outcome.  I saw the same doctor as last week and unfortunately I'm not very fond of him, so I feel pretty sure he'll be the one delivering.  Blah.  

Anyway, he said there has been no change from last week, but going from less than half a centimeter to one and a half centimeters sounds like a little change to me...  I could be wrong.  I mean, I haven't attended medical school or anything, so who knows.

Because I was blue, I found myself sitting in a pedicure chair before collecting my child from preschool.  Those lovely Asian ladies who told me I was small a few months ago must have changed their tunes.  One of them is due Oct. 3 with her first, a boy.  Suddenly, after all the pleasantries were exchanged, they continued to speak in their native tongue staring at my belly and occasionally laughing.  I felt like Elaine on Seinfeld.  What the hell were they saying about me???  Who cares.  My toes look nice.

This morning whilst perched upon the couch, Jimmy noticed my lovely toes.  Then, when I stood up, I completely smashed my left pinky toe into the leg of an end table.  I fought hard not to say something too profane, so strangely "Mother of Pearl" came out of my mouth.  It must have been too hard for Katie to repeat because she kept quiet until she saw all the blood.  Is it gross that I let her kiss my foot, per her request, to make it feel better after she insisted that I put a band aid on it?  I mean, I had already taken a shower, so probably not too gross, right? 

Quick Baby Update

We had an ultrasound and doctor's visit this morning.  Things seem to be right where they are supposed to be.  Katie's sister is growing nicely at around 5 lbs. 7 oz.  I was told that she is NOT a big baby, at least not for now.  The technician told me I looked small, so I love her!  Baby girl already has an inch of hair on her head AND relatively big feet.  Also, I think her heart rate is around 143 bpm.  So, so far so good.

They actually checked to see if I was dilated at all since we're headed into a weekend of hurricanes and tropical storms.  I think he said I was something like less than half a cm.  She is not engaged, but she is head down, so we still have time before she makes her move.  This news was a little disappointing for me, but I guess I'm not entirely ready for her to arrive even though I'd like her to stop making me so uncomfortable.

We couldn't get a picture of her face because she was not cooperating, imagine that.  We'll just have to be surprised, I guess.

Badge of a Bad Mother

I'd have to say that this last week has taken its toll on me physically and emotionally.  I can't exactly pinpoint when it all started, but it has beaten me down and worn me slam out.

There is a chance that my frustration began about the time my newest nephew was born.  Katie's preschool had its open house that morning and, without skipping a beat, Katie was completely out of control.  She hit a boy for getting in her way, she stole puzzles from other children, she pulled a chair out from a little girl trying to sit down, and she defiantly told her new teacher "No Way!" Instead of growing resistant to the idea of sending her to preschool, Jimmy and I resolved that Katie NEEDS preschool; this will be a good experience for her in the long run.

Additionally, I spent most of the day wondering if Kristine had given birth to a "Joey," and I don't mean baby kangaroo.  We had toyed with the idea of naming our future little one, set to arrive October 10, Josephine Maria in honor grandmothers on both sides of our family.  We wanted to call her Joey.  Since I kept this idea a secret, it obviously backfired on me and so we were back to the drawing board as to the name of our unborn child...  this process is certainly not an easy one, but I think we'll pull through on top.

 

Since the open house, Katie has been all over the place.  Her lack of napping during the day and/or very early morning wake up times (before or around 6 a.m.) is completely wearing us out. I went to bed on Thursday night with a very sore throat and woke up with a very stuffy nose.  This nasty cold and horribly swampy weather has contributed to my bad mood and lack of productivity.

Finally, it all came to a head on Sunday afternoon, just before nap time.  I had had my fill of Katie's clinginess, whininess, and "only mommy can solve my problems" attitude, especially since her father was present and very capable of getting her a glass of milk in her McQueen cup. I had to go to the bathroom, so I told her to leave me alone so I could go in peace.  She heard the word "bathroom" and darted toward the master bath.  I quickly outwitted her and went to the guest bath and immediately locked the door.  I sat in there for a while debating if I should just spend the rest of the day in there, but sadly hadn't planned it out...  I should have brought some crafts, a book, maybe a small TV, etc.  After a short while, I could hear her wandering the house trying to find me.  She disappeared into the guest bedroom and shut the door.  I got nervous that she might get into something dangerous since I've torn that room apart trying to get it organized for baby #2. I reluctantly exited the bathroom to check on her.  When I saw that she was OK, I started to think of other ways to hide from her.  Jimmy finally came to my rescue (kinda) and told Katie it was time for her nap.  She freaked out and started throwing a tantrum.  I tried to hide in my bedroom so that he could handle the situation.  I heard her little footsteps racing towards the bedroom, and since closing the door never seems to work, I dove onto the floor behind the bed so she couldn't see me.  In doing so, I gave myself a pretty bad rug burn on my left knee.  As I sat there scrunched down in pain, I thought, "What the hell am I doing?"  Guilt set in, so I got up.

I walked out of the bedroom and Katie came running toward me.  We sat on the couch for a few minutes.  I held her because of the guilt factor.  Then, Jimmy rounded the corner, saw us together, and suggested that she lay down with mommy in bed...  I thought, "huh?"  But, I took her to bed anyway, we lay side-by-side, I read her a story, then we both passed out.

You'd think I would have arose rejuvenated...  not so much.  We had "planned" to take Katie to Pops in the Park in Cary that night to listen to a free NC Symphony concert and see "fire fire works."  Katie was so excited, Karla was so excited, Jimmy was not so excited.  Needless to say, Jimmy and I got into a huge fight the whole way there due to fatigue from those early wake-up calls, lack of planning on my part, and a threat of thunderstorms.  Despite all of our bickering, we actually had a nice time, and the "fire fire works" were "totally awesome, dude!"  Plus, it never rained!  

When we got home and finally got Katie to sleep, I spent some time thinking about the whole day. If I wasn't pregnant, tired, or sick, would I have handled the day differently?  Should any of that even matter?  I'm a mom.  It is my job to look after my daughter and love her unconditionally, not dive across the floor trying to hide from her when the going gets rough.  I think Katie has forgiven me for my lack of judgement, but I'll wear this little badge of poor mothering on my knee as a reminder of how not to behave...  at least until I find myself locked in the bathroom again....

Preschool

Yesterday had its ups and downs.  

Downs:

I experimented at breakfast with one cup of Raisin Bran Crunch cereal and paid for it all day. My blood sugar soared and I just couldn't get control of it for most of the day.  Finally, by dinner time, I was feeling much better.  The lightheadedness and woozy sensations subsided.  I decided after that I would stick to plain and boring so as not to aggravate mother nature.

Ups:

Garner United Methodist Church called at 8:30 am to tell me that they had a cancellation for their preschool and they were instituting the waiting list.  If Katie was still interested, there was now room for her.  This was such great news!  Even though I was feeling woozy, Katie and I took a trip over there to check the place out.  Katie really liked it and the people seemed quite nice.  

Classes follow the Wake County Public Schools calendar, so she will begin on September 3rd. There is an Open House on Tuesday, August 26. The class is Monday and Wednesday from 9:30 am to 1:00 pm.  There will be eight kids in her class with one teacher and one assistant. Since it's a 2 year old class, they don't have to be potty trained, but they do encourage the process with little tiny toilets/stalls!  Kids have to pack a lunch, but the school provides a snack.  

The preschool has been around for 20 years, but unfortunately the 2 year old class is new.  They normally hadn't started kids until they turned three.  I'm a little nervous that she'll be a guinea pig, but I think it'll be OK.  The cost is so reasonable, and if I hate it, I give 30 days notice and she can stop going.  No harm done.

This comes at a great time for us because I have to start going to the doctor every week now so they can make sure the baby isn't growing too big...  gestational diabetes.  I was worried about having to take Katie with me for every appointment, but now I'll just schedule these appointments while she's in school.  While she's in school...  holy crap!

Jimmy asked if it broke my heart to see her in that classroom, but I was so excited that it didn't even dawn on me that I'd be dropping off my baby, entrusting her to strangers.  I'm sure when I leave her that first day I might freak out.  But, if she looks happy, I'm sure I'll get over it.   Maybe I'll even celebrate with a pedicure!  

Carb Counting

I had my meeting with a nutrition counselor on Tuesday.  I learned how to count carbs and test my blood with the OneTouch Ultra 2 meter.  After testing on that first day, Tuesday, it seemed I was not eating enough!  This is crazy.  I think I'm under eating for fear of over eating, which isn't healthy either.  

Basically, I just count carbs, or at least that is about all the nutrition counselor told me to do.  I am allowed a certain number of servings of carbs per meal and snack.  One carbohydrate serving is 15g.  So, for example, at breakfast I'm allowed to have 2-3 servings of carbs, which is equal to 30g-45g of carbs.  For lunch and dinner, I am allowed 3-4 servings of carbs.  A snack is only 1-2 servings, so 15-30g of carbs.  I eat three meals a day and three snacks a day.

I have to check my blood 4 times a day, once when I wake up, then two hours after breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  The first reading of the day should be between 60-95.  The others should be under 120.  So far, my average readings since Tuesday have fallen in the 70's.

I feel like I'm in school again having to study my new materials, then take a test every few hours.  

__________________________________________________________________________

I also had a doctor's appointment this morning.  I assume things look good for now (hard to tell because the new doctor was a little strange and didn't say much), but I'll have to start going weekly to make sure I'm not growing a freak of nature inside me.  By this, I just mean they're going to have to make sure the baby is not getting too big.  I will also need a few more ultrasounds for the same reason.  That part is kind of cool.  I'll be able to get a good look at baby #2's face :)  Hope she's pretty!

Yuck!

I barfed today.  I sure hope I don't barf tomorrow!

Gestational Diabetes

I called the doctor's office yesterday and finally heard my results from the glucose screen.  I do indeed have gestational diabetes.  After talking to Kristine, I've learned that my diet will drastically change and I'll have to check my blood about four times a day and urine once a day. It's kinda of scary to think about how the little brain power I have left will be spent studying food labels for sugars and carbohydrates.  You gotta do what you gotta do, right?  Kristine did it with Casey, so I'm sure I can handle this now.

Perhaps the hospital will call today to set up an appointment to discuss my new diet and daily testing routine...  I can't believe my doctor's office mixed up my paperwork.  This is frustrating enough, but the fact that I loaded up on sugars this weekend because I thought, "Hmm, no phone call, they must not be in a rush to tell me anything important" makes me mad at myself and at them.  I was told that Rex (Hospital) is quick to contact people, so let's just hope that I don't have to wait another week to get more info.

Sigh!

Update

The big girl bed is awesome!  Katie is doing so well, I can hardly believe it.  We still haven't purchased bed rails, but on the advice of Mama Judy, we just put the back of a chair next to the bed and it seems to work great.

This whole transition has caused a whirlwind of emotions, yet again, for Mama K.  We used to look at Katie in the crib and think, "My goodness, she is getting so big."  Now looking at her in the big girl bed all I can say is, "Sweet Jesus, she is so small!"  I check on her while she sleeps now more than I did while she was in the crib, mainly because she is so adorable passed out in her bed.  In the crib, she refused to let us put a blanket over her.  But, now that she's in her big girl bed, it's like she's loved blankets her whole life.  

I'm happy that I will have the chance to relive all of this again with a new baby, but I'm still sad that these milestones are coming and going so quickly for Katie.  

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I was watching Tori and Dean last night.  I'm even more embarrassed that I was crying through half of it.  It was the episode where she had her second baby.  She said something that actually made me stop and think about this new arrival, something I haven't really allowed myself to do.  She was sad that it wasn't going to be just her and Liam (first born) anymore. She told him how she was going to share her love with the new baby girl, but that there was certainly enough love to go around for the both of them.  I've thought about this, but not necessarily long and hard.  Katie won't be an only child anymore!  I'm going to have to love two equally!  "Have" is probably the wrong word since I'm sure the love just flows naturally :)

My friend Katie mentioned how she felt guilty in the hospital, right after she had her second, for giving all this attention to a new baby and not the first born.  That is something I never considered.  The nurse told her it was very common to have those feelings.  I imagine so!  It will be so strange to split my time between two girls.  I'm crying just thinking about it.

I'm pregnant, I cry a lot!

Anyway, time is ticking away and baby girl #2 will be here before we know it.  I just hope we can get our act together so we're ready for her when she shows up early, because c'mon you know she's gonna show up early!

Also, maybe my doctor's office will finally call me back today to tell me if I have Gestational Diabetes...  I mean, I took the test last Thursday.  Results should have surfaced by now, right?

Ants!

We woke up to an ant problem in the pantry this morning. SO GROSS! Jimmy killed the bulk of them before I even got out of bed, but there were still lots when I cleaned the entire pantry out this afternoon. Obviously, I never enjoy ants in my house, but it's a pretty good kick in the butt to do some spring cleaning!

It's pretty hard to clean from top to bottom while two kids demand your attention, in addition to one in your belly who requires food and her mother to rest. I was struggling to catch my breath, since that has become a new issue for me during this pregnancy.

Katie kept wanting to play with the ant baits that I bought at the grocery store this morning, so of course I was stopping to wash her hands every five seconds and scream at her. Plus, with everything I took out of the pantry, Katie would demand to have it immediately! (Side note: Katie is not doing very well these days with sharing. It's as if Caroline is her sister and they're fighting over who gets what already! It's driving me nuts. If Caroline wears a bib while eating, Katie tries to yank it off of her and screams "mine! share!" She just hasn't mastered the concept of sharing yet. To her, sharing means everything belongs to her.)

Caroline was doing pretty well until she got hungry tired. She had just eaten only 2.5 hours prior, but was screaming for more, all while being completely exhausted. Sigh.

I finally got them both to nap at 1:30pm, so I was able to finish up the pantry, but I've still left quite a bit of junk in the sink. I'll just have to get to that later because I feel like I'm dying right now. I mean, I need to eat something, but after cleaning ants, nothing really appeals to me. I need to rest, but it's still really hot in the house. (I can't believe how poorly we planned the due date of this pregnancy!!! I can't believe I'm still going to have two and a half more months left of harvesting this child come August... in North Carolina.) Sigh.

I need a nap.

Sisters. Sisters. There were never such devoted sisters.

We recently had a stage two ultrasound because of our abnormal AFP screen results. This news of abnormal numbers sent me into a frantic whirlwind of emotions. I was so angry with myself for taking the test to begin with. I know there are so many false positives, why would I risk such unnecessary stress to myself or the baby? It was a last minute decision. I took the test when I was pregnant with Katie, so why not take it again with this one? Lesson learned.

The genetic counselor explained everything quite well. Basically, my risk of having a kid with Down Syndrome is about 1/650 just based on age alone. The statistic changed after adding my age risk to my blood work, which left me with a risk of 1/270. In the AFP screen, they look for 4 protein levels, two of which need to be above 1.0 and two of which need to be below 1.0 (alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), beta human chorionic gonadotropin (beta-hCG), a type of estrogen (unconjugated estriol, or uE3), and the level of hormone inhibin A. In my case, I think the level of inhibin was what sent up the red flag and triggered the call. Basically, they had ruled out the spina bifida and omphalocele (where the intestines stick out through the belly wall) based on my numbers, but were concerned with Downs (trisomy 21).

The ultrasound technician was young and nice, but uninformed as to our reason for being there. We clearly stated our wishes of not wanting to know the gender of the baby, if it could be avoided, until we left the office so that I could recover emotionally from this unnerving experience. We asked her to write down the gender on a piece of paper and allow us to view it after we left the office. I thought I was clear in my request.

The tech told us she didn't see any of those genetic markers associated with Downs kids on the ultrasound, so our risk was lowered by half. This was such a blessing, but it didn't change my desire to wait for gender results until after our visit ended. The doctor came into the room and took a look for himself on the ultrasound. He abruptly revealed the gender to us sending a wave of shock and disbelief to us both. My request wasn't honored, so it took me most of the day to stop crying...

We joked about wanting a boy, but the two of us have always said that we just want a healthy, happy baby, regardless. I know everyone says that, but obviously after the AFP results, it meant a lot more to us than gender. I've always said that I wanted Katie to have a sister someday. Sisters are spectacular, I should know, I have two of the best in the world. We're pleased and proud to bring another girl into the Wilson mix. But, poor Jimmy! That's a lot of estrogen!